Things have quieted down in my life. My husband is still back and forth staying with his girlfriend (gosh that sounds so weird, but I'd rather keep it clean) and coming here to sleep. This is the hardest on me. I wish he would just stay away. I know it is not healthy for us to allow this, but it is something I am working on. I have been getting support from those around me. I am also seeing a counselor that is working with me as to why I can not stand up for myself.
We are moving forward to divorce. It is something I have never wanted to do, and still in so many ways do not want to do. I lived through my own dad's divorces as a child and know how much it hurt. My husband has though said that he does not want to remain married to me. Each day that goes by I am starting to feel more and more like I am wanting to divorce him. Yet, there is such a fear in me to do it.
The kids are doing ok. I worry most about the older 3 who understand the most. Yet, I worry about my younger ones too with all of his back and forth.
I am thankful though to see all my kids seeking God even in their young ages.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you are someone walking in the shadows of an affair I do hope that you have found some encouragement. If you just know someone who is dealing with these issues, I do hope that you can find a little more understanding.