Today is a bad day both physically and emotionally. I had open heart surgery 2 weeks ago. I need help and the reality is the person who knows best how to help can't. I have had a lot of offers of help. I have a few friends that can come and do some housework, but I can't really rest, because too often they don't know where things go and I have to direct them. Or because they don't want to step on my toes and do something they shouldn't, they ask me what I want them to do.
My teens just don't get it. They need to be told what to do at every moment. I often have to chase them out of their room to help. and the time I need them most- early am, they don't like to get out of bed. Yes, I know much is my fault for not teaching them enough. And some of it is just being teens and wanting to be with their friends.
My husband offered to come and help at first I said no, for the exact reason that has happened. He came 2 days in a row. One of the days he first said he could be here all day, but of course he had to leave early to do a survey and now because his girlfriend is jealous and doesn't want him around me, he can't take care of his kids. It has left me very angry again.
I want so badly to sleep. But I have to take care of my little ones. It is Sunday and the oldest ones always want to go to their friends houses', so I am left with dishes, and laundry that has been sitting here for 3 days and a baby that I will continue to pick up, because it is just what my reality is.....
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Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you are someone walking in the shadows of an affair I do hope that you have found some encouragement. If you just know someone who is dealing with these issues, I do hope that you can find a little more understanding.